It’s interesting how our priorities change when we’re in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. Mary Kay Ash stated it so well:
- From 14 to 40 a woman needs good looks
- From 40 to 60 she needs personality
- And from 60 on I’m here to tell you a woman needs CASH!
All kidding aside, I’m finding that in my 40’s I am eager to work, but I prefer a more relaxed and meaningful nature to my work. I’ve also learned that I have the ability to design my life how I want it to be. I didn’t use to believe that. But now that I love myself more, I’ve practiced manifesting at small levels, moved to bigger levels, and because I’m willing to take responsibility for everything that appears in my life, I have found how to create in a significant way.
The most important thing I’ve learned while on the planet is to embrace where I am. It doesn’t matter that I would like to lose 50 pounds; I still love myself as the person I am today. I don’t want to wish my life away or lose precious minutes griping about how I look. When I’m ready to change I will, and in the meantime I will do what feels right for my mind, body & spirit. If I feel like going for a walk I do. If I feel like sitting on the couch watching a movie with my honey, I do. If it feels good to play with my dog I do.
Reflecting on the past, or griping about your current weight, finances, friends, family, etc. only for the purpose of complaining or beating yourself up doesn’t serve your highest good. If you’re analyzing to help make positive changes in your life, allow yourself to purge your emotions or have a 5 minutes pity party and then move toward positive change in a productive manner.
Liking yourself, loving yourself, and accepting yourself exactly as you are right now, are powerful messages that influence the types and quality of conversations you have with yourself. Make your mind a powerful point of creation rather than a sadistic haven where you relive past failures. Here’s how you begin to initiate that change:
- Set your intention for how you want to think, feel, and act. I remember in the sixth grade I was very shy. I wanted to be popular and more outgoing. I specifically set my mind to being more of an extrovert that year. I practiced smiling in the mirror. I took a risk and started talking to people. I invited new friends to my house to play. Within six months I had a whole host of new friends. This all happened in the mind of a 12 year old girl. If she can do it, so can you.
- Decide what people, experiences, and things you want around you. And just say NO to everything else. If it doesn’t fill you with joy then don’t do it. If it’s something you must do (like file and pay taxes – then find a way to do it with joy.) Be grateful for your bills because the vendors trusted you to pay. Be honest with yourself about everything that is in your life and realize that it’s there because of who you ‘used to be’. If you want anything to be different, the choices you make today are creating your world for tomorrow. To have the life you desire, you must say YES to the things you want, and NO to the things you don’t want. Don’t say YES just to be kind if the activity or person doesn’t feel good to you.
- Speak to yourself and others in a kind and loving way. My mother used to discourage me from using the words such as stupid and hate. She was very brilliant in that regard, because if you constantly affirm that you or someone else is stupid, then you will constantly have stupid people around you, or you’ll keep doing stupid things. I encourage everyone around me to replace the word stupid with silly. Mario liked to say “dumb-ass” to himself when he did something he wished he hadn’t. I now have him saying “silly-ass” and the connotation is playful instead of self-deprecating. Being silly just means you didn’t have your wits about you at the time and you can do better next time. Using the word stupid or dumb is a judgmental term that invokes shame and guilt. Feel the difference.
- Be grateful for every experience in your life. Because it has made you who you are today. You wouldn’t be who you are if you didn’t have that trauma as a child, do poorly at an activity, or choose the wrong mate. All of those experiences helped you to make better choices the next time around. We learn and grow with every experience – good and bad. It’s up to you if you want to continue learning through pain, or if you’d rather learn through love. Finding the good in every past experience helps all of your future experiences to be gentler lessons presented in a more loving way.
Life is too short for us to spend time doing things we don’t want to do, hanging around people who don’t help us feel good, or living a life you don’t enjoy. Is your life everything you wish it could be? If not, what needs to change? What about yourself can you work on to improve the quality of your life and your thoughts? What one change can you implement today and continue for the next 30 days to solidify it as your new way of being? Becoming your best self, designing your life as you desire it to be, and treating everyone with kindness helps you to be much more attractive to the people, things, and experiences you desire, and could lead you to finally Manifest the right Man for you! If nothing else you will completely embrace where you are and live each day fully, which is a beautiful place to be.
